On privilege

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I’m a man.

I’ve never been sexually assaulted. I’ve never even had to worry about sexual assault. When I walk home at night, I’m not concerned that what I’m wearing might attract unwanted attention. When I meet a stranger I’ve been speaking to on a dating website, the most I fear is that our conversation might be dull. When I’m couchsurfing, I don’t question what my hosts are going to be like and whether I’ll be safe. When I’m at a conference in my field, I’ve never had someone ask me if I’m there “with my partner”. When I sleep with lots of people, nobody ever calls me a whore. If I were to have children, nobody would question me continuing my career rather than looking after them full time.

And I haven’t even gotten started yet.

Saying that men are privileged isn’t an insult. It’s not saying men are bad people. It’s just saying how things are.

Privilege isn’t some binary quality; the fact that women may be privileged when it comes to working with children doesn’t somehow stop men from being privileged elsewhere. There are different types of privilege; yours doesn’t get cancelled out just because someone else has a different type.

Acknowledging privilege is acknowledging that some things are unfair, it’s acknowledging the truth. But more importantly, it’s acknowledging that things don’t have to be that way. Acknowledging that you have privilege isn’t admitting that you’re wrong, it isn’t saying you’re a bad person… it’s the very first step in making things better, and that is very, very right.

[This was originally posted as a comment on a friend’s facebook wall.]

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